Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
