Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How external is "for external use only"?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
