I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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