found the other keg... it's in the tree
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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