This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
