Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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