He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
