there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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