got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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