none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
