I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
