is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
