who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
