filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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