Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
