she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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