i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
