Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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