i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
