okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize