i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
