come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
