no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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