If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
