you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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