I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
