not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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