I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
