Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
