You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
