I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
jump out the window naked night went bad
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
