Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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