So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
