my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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