i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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