she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize