We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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