I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
