just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
