I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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