i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
