at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
