My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
