They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
