the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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