we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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