I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
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A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
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The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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