I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize