yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
