Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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