This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
