does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
