no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
