i just wanna soil my oats bro
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Randomize
