Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
