i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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