What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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