I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
