No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
